Today i had an insight when i was talking to one lady in the surbub of eMganwini in Bulawayo. She is a middle age woman who works as an administrator at one of the Law firms in the city. The woman is married to a soldier. We were seated together on the bus to Emganwini and after a few interesting general topics we ended up jumping to Gender equality and domestic violence. Personally i have no problem with gender equality and emancipation of women but my problem is the process the women are going to use to be at par with man. All these women lobby groups and women pressure groups want to encourage women to go up the ladder by bringing down men. This woman had a different view, she claimed that these days women are equally educated as men and are also equally paid, they take up responsibilities which were previously reserved for men and likewise men are also taking previously women occupations like saloon work (braiding and platting hair) and taking care of children. Women can now have the chance to negotiate for safe sex and use of contraceptives.
We really had a heated debate till we reached the point where i proposed that if men and women are equal then women can pay lobola for men and there she declined claiming that it is in our culture that men pay lobola for women and that a man is responsible for the woman as the head of the family and she was quick to realize the trap of contradiction that she had got herself into. In our generation only a few people can afford to pay lobola especially with traditional families who charge their lobola in cattle value of which a person can be charged 6 beasts each one at a value of US$400 money enough to get a Japanese make car.
Women have argued that abolishing lobola may make them loose their dignity and worth as African women and one wonders how long can dignity based on materialistic ideas like lobola can last. Women in the modern world are viewed as sexual objects with many appearing on commercials of which most have nothing to do with femininity like Tyre and chocolate commercials. They also became culprits in their own so called oppression when they choose to do pornography.
This should be an issue to taken into consideration and not just women taking issues from our culture that are to their advantage but that are logical and strive to fight for equality with men.
